Wynarena The Mountain Goat:
[Win-arena]
When I was born we lived in a lush valley full of grass, tall and green. There was a bubbling sparkling clean stream that wound itself through this valley. I loved to play in the meadows of tall grass, playing hide and seek with the other young ones. It was a good life. Each night I would go to my mother's side and cuddle up close to her, laying there I was protected by her warmth. When the heat of the sun awakened me I was off to the meadows to feed and play.
One day I noticed the Sage Ones going off from the rest of the family as they started climbing up the mountain that loomed high and treacherous looking over our valley. I had never noticed this before even though I had watched in awe as the Sage Ones walked among us. They were different, strong and powerful looking with such wisdom and strength emanating from their eyes and from every movement they made. They were lean and regal looking and their hoofs were sharp and ready for battle. I looked at these as they started their climb up the mountain and wondered where they were going and why. I looked to the valley and saw it full of the fat ones who had their heads down eating and grazing on the tall green grass. They were intent only on filling their bellies. They never looked up to the mountain or seemed to even notice its presence there. So they ate and drank and rested only to resume the same cycle again.
As I watched the fat ones and then looked again at the lean powerful Sage Ones climbing even higher now, I vowed I would be a Sage One. I turned and went to my mother, the source of all my knowledge and I asked her about the Sage Ones and why they looked so different from the rest of the herd. I asked her what made them climb the mountain when it looked so treacherous and hard to climb. She seemed pleased with my questions as she responded; “These are the mighty wise ones who have found the source of all life, the Great Shepherd. The Great Shepherd lives on the top of the mountain. He is the One who made this valley and all that's in it, including us. But many have forgotten who He is, that He even exists. They have become content in only feeding their bellies and living a life of ease and comfort. They never look up or question all they have or where it came from or how it is sustained. They have become fat and lazy and content to remain ignorant. But the ones you see climbing the mountain have heard His voice calling them and they responded to His upward call. The voice calls to all but many say it is only the wind and turn a deaf ear even though their hearts are stirred. Soon they forget the voice and their hearts become fat and lazy, even as their bodies are.”
As my mother spoke I looked up to the mountain again and the Sage Ones had gained much ground growing smaller as they continue their upward climb. I raised my eyes higher and saw the clouds that cover the very pinnacle of the mountain making it seem scary and unapproachable. Yet the Sage Ones don't seem to find it so, they are steadily climbing, straining to reach the top. I decide right then I'll be one of them; I will not join the group below and become fat and lazy like them. I push out my chest and boastfully say so to my mother. She smiles and chuckles but only says “I am glad for your choice it is a good one, a noble one.” She tells me to watch and learn from the Sage Ones and to wait for the Great Shepherd's voice to call me upward. But I am so sure I too can climb this mountain on my own. I need no one to teach me or call me. So I run to the base of the mountain eager to start my climb, eager to reach the top and to catch up with the Sage Ones. There is a small ledge jutting out just above me and I jump the few feet to its landing place. As my feet land on the ledge I feel 10 feet tall and the source of all wisdom. I made it on my own and now I must make sure those below see my bravery and accomplishment, how great I've become. So I jump up and down, calling to the fat ones below to look at me, look where I am. Look at me; I am a Sage One too.
In my eagerness I don't notice how close to the edge I've become or the stones rolling down underneath me as I jump around in my boasting and excitement wanting to be seen. Then I find myself tumbling down the short distance I had just jumped. My white coat becomes dirt covered and incrusted with twigs and brambles. And now I don't want anyone to look at me. I'm ashamed of how I look and how quickly I fell. I go back to my mother for I know she alone will solace me and clean me up. Yes she may chastise me but she will lovingly cleanse and restore my dirty coat back to its whiteness. As I'm walking away I take one last look at the mountain and see how small my accomplishment really was. I had only gotten a short distance off the ground and I hadn't even been able to sustain that.
Then I look up and see the faint outline of the Sage Ones as they continue their climb. I'm ashamed; none of them ever boasted in their climb or called attention to themselves, all their attention is upward to where the Great Shepherd dwells. They are seemingly unaware of the valley below, unaware of anything or anyone in the valley. As I returned a defeat warrior, my mother receives me as I knew she would. I nestle down in her tender care a much chastised and wiser lamb than before. But my eyes are continually drawn upward to the Sage Ones climb. My heart now aches to be one with them even though my little body is bruised from my short fall. I do not boast now but I vow to myself I will be one of them. I silently pray “Great Shepherd call me upward to You for I can't make the climb alone, on my own strength.” I feel the rustle of the wind lifting my coat as some of the debris is blown away. It almost feels as though gentle hands are lifting my coat and removing the debris from me.
The sun awakes me as it has every morning and for a moment all seems as before, as every other morning of my young life. Then as I move I feel the bruises on my body and remember yesterday. It all comes flooding back to me; my shame is reawakened with the morning as I remember my foolish boasting and pride. I also remember my vow and prayer to the Great Shepherd and my heart feels a stirring, almost like the wind that blew away the dirt and debris from my coat last night. I turn and look at my mother with new eyes as she continues to sleep beside of me. Before she was just there, had always been there and I never thought of her as being anything else but my mother. Selfishly I had assumed she was only there for me, only there to feed and take care of my needs. But as I looked upon her now she took on a different look. I looked at her body that had been my source of life since my birth. I noticed she was leaner then the fat ones and that her hoofs were sharp and powerful looking. As her eyes opened I saw the light of love and wisdom that was in her eyes. And it dawned on me; my mother is a Sage One. Until this moment I had not seen her regal bearing as she walked, nor had I notice how the others showed her respect and honor as she walked among them. But now all the previous days of my life flashed before me and I saw them with new eyes, eyes that weren't focused only on myself and my needs and pleasure. I know now that she is a Sage One. But why hasn't she gone up the mountain too?
As I ponder this question I'm amazed that she is my mother, the one who gave me life and now sustains and protects my life. So many things I've taken for granted before now take on a new meaning as my eyes are truly seeing them for the first time. I have lived as though the world, my world, revolved around me. Suddenly I'm questioning its existence, my existence and the why of it all. My mother stirs beside me and I arise as she does knowing that nothing will ever be the same as before. My eyes have been opened to see and my heart stirred to know the answers to all the questions swirling in my young mind. I watch my friends scamper off to play and feed in the valley below but all that has lost its savor for me. There is a strange yearning in my heart that is greater than the rumble of my now empty belly. I want to stay close to my mother for I sense and know she has the answers to many of my questions. She is watching me as all these new thoughts and desires are arising in me. Though I have said nothing she knows I have changed and there is a look of love and compassion in her eyes as she watches me. I drop my head suddenly very shy before her, not sure of this new relationship I sense has begun between us.
“Come” she says and we move towards the pasture below, “We must feed to sustain our strength”. She picks a spot away from the others and it’s not the greenest, nor fullest, or most luscious spot but there is enough grass to feed us both. I watch with new eyes as she eats, not like the fat ones who are lost in the filling of their bellies unaware of all else. She is very deliberate and watchful, taking one bite at a time being watchful as she chews aware of all that surrounds us. I imitate her as I watch her every movement. I sense this is what I must do, my destiny if I am to be a sage one. Long before anyone else moves she moves away from the grassy area to a higher spot, a protected spot to rest but she never stops looking and watching. I too began to look around to see as she sees. At first all seems as before to me, fat ones are feeding and the young ones, my friends, playing around them. Then my eyes pick up movement and I see a ground squirrel scurry across the meadow. I look at my mom and she has seen it too and smiles at me in acknowledge of our discovery. Now my eyes are looking diligently for what I've never noticed before. The meadow becomes alive with life I've never noticed before. A baby eaglet is being pushed from its nest as his mother is teaching him to fly. It's amazing to me to watch them and this display of life I've never been aware of before. Every movement, every blade of grass and flower moved by the gentle breeze, now catches my eye and becomes a source of wonder. This valley I had taken for granted as my home, belonging to me and here only for my pleasure and needs, now is changing before my eyes into a new world full of things that have as much right to it as I do. My mother's eyes are watching me as this revelation is bursting forth in my young mind. I sense she knows and is pleased as we smile at each other sharing the pleasure of this discovery.
There is a joy and peace lying beside of her I've never known before. I look at my friends as they frolic and jump chasing each other but I have no desire to join them. I am content here and I nestle closer to my mother. I want to be like her for now I value her as more than just my mother. She has now become my teacher, my mentor and role model. I feel so privileged to have her as my mother, no one else has the knowledge and wisdom I'm seeking and yearning to know. Yet she is not proud and boastful as I was, she is soft and quiet content to be my mother. I sense destiny stir in my spirit as I realize how lucky I am she's the one who birthed me and it arouses an even greater desire to be like her. I begin to wonder what she did when I was in the meadow playing with my friends. She was never there with the fat ones yet I always sensed her presence and felt safe.
The sun is warm upon us as we lay in this sheltered place and I find myself drifting off to sleep. But the sudden movement beside of me quickly drives that away. She is standing alert as though something has caught her attention. She is regal and foreboding standing there and were it not for my secure knowledge of her love for me I'd be afraid. Her quick movement has caught the fat ones attention and there is panic in their eyes and bleating. With mouths still full of grass they begin to move in panic, not knowing which way to go. But my mother's eyes are still scanning the distant horizon for what had caught her attention. She begins to move down the mountain as she motions for me to stay still and quiet where I am. I watch as she positions herself between the meadow of fat ones and the lambs and the approaching danger. She has taken a stance of readiness to do battle with whatever dares to come near. I see movement now in the tall grass as Mother is quieting the herd to stop their panicky movements. Her very presence has had an amazing effect on them already.
As I watch the grass parts and gives way and I see a wolf, large and gray, emerge. I watch in fear for my mother's life as he approaches first to the left then to the right of her. Each time he shifts direction so does she, positioning herself between him and the herd. I sense this wolf is afraid of her and wants to get by her to reach the others who are no match for his large teeth and the strength of his hunger. As he snarls and walks slowly trying to get around her she has raised herself up ready to do battle. Her hoofs are sharp and flashing as the sun bounces off them displaying how dangerous they'd be to anyone darning to come within striking range. The herd is huddled in fright paralyzed by their fear just behind her. The wolf stops as though assessing his chances and the risk to himself if he continues to confront this fearless and powerful Sage One. He takes one last look at the helpless flock behind her before he turns and trots off seeking easier and less protected prey to satisfy his gnawing hunger.
My mother returns to her normal stance as she lowers her hoofs to the ground still never taking her eyes off the retreating wolf. Her ears are still and intentionally listening for any other sound of danger that could be close by. But the fat ones only see that the wolf has retreated defeated by mother's brave display of power and readiness to do battle if necessary. She was willing to lay down her life for their safety. They come running to her with all kinds of praise and gratitude. The young ones are looking at her in awe too, until now they had never seen her as anything but my mother. My little chest swells with pride as I look upon the scene below. But she is unaffected by any of it, her eyes and stance are still very alert and watchful. She knows retreat may mean an attack from another direction. Slowly the herd returns to their normal occupation and begin to fill their bellies once again with the green grass. The lambs begin to play again this time they are acting like they are fighting wolves, rising up like my mother did ready for battle. They are so brave and fearless now fighting their imaginary foe.
Before long I see my mother relax and turn walking slowly back up the mountain to the ledge where I'm waiting. Yet though the immediate danger seems to be passed she still has a sense of alertness about her every movement. Awe and wonder flood me as I watch this regal powerful Sage One approach me. I am humbled by the knowledge she is my mother, the one who birthed me. How could I have been so lucky to have come from her? I vow anew to grow up into someone she'll be proud of and my determination is strengthened to know the Great Shepherd so I can become a Sage One too. I see her eyes lift up to the mountain and there's a hunger there I've never noticed before as she watches the Sage Ones enter the cloud that’s hovering over its pinnacle. But when she lowers her head the look is gone and changes into love and joy as she sees me.
4/27/13
[Win-arena]
When I was born we lived in a lush valley full of grass, tall and green. There was a bubbling sparkling clean stream that wound itself through this valley. I loved to play in the meadows of tall grass, playing hide and seek with the other young ones. It was a good life. Each night I would go to my mother's side and cuddle up close to her, laying there I was protected by her warmth. When the heat of the sun awakened me I was off to the meadows to feed and play.
One day I noticed the Sage Ones going off from the rest of the family as they started climbing up the mountain that loomed high and treacherous looking over our valley. I had never noticed this before even though I had watched in awe as the Sage Ones walked among us. They were different, strong and powerful looking with such wisdom and strength emanating from their eyes and from every movement they made. They were lean and regal looking and their hoofs were sharp and ready for battle. I looked at these as they started their climb up the mountain and wondered where they were going and why. I looked to the valley and saw it full of the fat ones who had their heads down eating and grazing on the tall green grass. They were intent only on filling their bellies. They never looked up to the mountain or seemed to even notice its presence there. So they ate and drank and rested only to resume the same cycle again.
As I watched the fat ones and then looked again at the lean powerful Sage Ones climbing even higher now, I vowed I would be a Sage One. I turned and went to my mother, the source of all my knowledge and I asked her about the Sage Ones and why they looked so different from the rest of the herd. I asked her what made them climb the mountain when it looked so treacherous and hard to climb. She seemed pleased with my questions as she responded; “These are the mighty wise ones who have found the source of all life, the Great Shepherd. The Great Shepherd lives on the top of the mountain. He is the One who made this valley and all that's in it, including us. But many have forgotten who He is, that He even exists. They have become content in only feeding their bellies and living a life of ease and comfort. They never look up or question all they have or where it came from or how it is sustained. They have become fat and lazy and content to remain ignorant. But the ones you see climbing the mountain have heard His voice calling them and they responded to His upward call. The voice calls to all but many say it is only the wind and turn a deaf ear even though their hearts are stirred. Soon they forget the voice and their hearts become fat and lazy, even as their bodies are.”
As my mother spoke I looked up to the mountain again and the Sage Ones had gained much ground growing smaller as they continue their upward climb. I raised my eyes higher and saw the clouds that cover the very pinnacle of the mountain making it seem scary and unapproachable. Yet the Sage Ones don't seem to find it so, they are steadily climbing, straining to reach the top. I decide right then I'll be one of them; I will not join the group below and become fat and lazy like them. I push out my chest and boastfully say so to my mother. She smiles and chuckles but only says “I am glad for your choice it is a good one, a noble one.” She tells me to watch and learn from the Sage Ones and to wait for the Great Shepherd's voice to call me upward. But I am so sure I too can climb this mountain on my own. I need no one to teach me or call me. So I run to the base of the mountain eager to start my climb, eager to reach the top and to catch up with the Sage Ones. There is a small ledge jutting out just above me and I jump the few feet to its landing place. As my feet land on the ledge I feel 10 feet tall and the source of all wisdom. I made it on my own and now I must make sure those below see my bravery and accomplishment, how great I've become. So I jump up and down, calling to the fat ones below to look at me, look where I am. Look at me; I am a Sage One too.
In my eagerness I don't notice how close to the edge I've become or the stones rolling down underneath me as I jump around in my boasting and excitement wanting to be seen. Then I find myself tumbling down the short distance I had just jumped. My white coat becomes dirt covered and incrusted with twigs and brambles. And now I don't want anyone to look at me. I'm ashamed of how I look and how quickly I fell. I go back to my mother for I know she alone will solace me and clean me up. Yes she may chastise me but she will lovingly cleanse and restore my dirty coat back to its whiteness. As I'm walking away I take one last look at the mountain and see how small my accomplishment really was. I had only gotten a short distance off the ground and I hadn't even been able to sustain that.
Then I look up and see the faint outline of the Sage Ones as they continue their climb. I'm ashamed; none of them ever boasted in their climb or called attention to themselves, all their attention is upward to where the Great Shepherd dwells. They are seemingly unaware of the valley below, unaware of anything or anyone in the valley. As I returned a defeat warrior, my mother receives me as I knew she would. I nestle down in her tender care a much chastised and wiser lamb than before. But my eyes are continually drawn upward to the Sage Ones climb. My heart now aches to be one with them even though my little body is bruised from my short fall. I do not boast now but I vow to myself I will be one of them. I silently pray “Great Shepherd call me upward to You for I can't make the climb alone, on my own strength.” I feel the rustle of the wind lifting my coat as some of the debris is blown away. It almost feels as though gentle hands are lifting my coat and removing the debris from me.
The sun awakes me as it has every morning and for a moment all seems as before, as every other morning of my young life. Then as I move I feel the bruises on my body and remember yesterday. It all comes flooding back to me; my shame is reawakened with the morning as I remember my foolish boasting and pride. I also remember my vow and prayer to the Great Shepherd and my heart feels a stirring, almost like the wind that blew away the dirt and debris from my coat last night. I turn and look at my mother with new eyes as she continues to sleep beside of me. Before she was just there, had always been there and I never thought of her as being anything else but my mother. Selfishly I had assumed she was only there for me, only there to feed and take care of my needs. But as I looked upon her now she took on a different look. I looked at her body that had been my source of life since my birth. I noticed she was leaner then the fat ones and that her hoofs were sharp and powerful looking. As her eyes opened I saw the light of love and wisdom that was in her eyes. And it dawned on me; my mother is a Sage One. Until this moment I had not seen her regal bearing as she walked, nor had I notice how the others showed her respect and honor as she walked among them. But now all the previous days of my life flashed before me and I saw them with new eyes, eyes that weren't focused only on myself and my needs and pleasure. I know now that she is a Sage One. But why hasn't she gone up the mountain too?
As I ponder this question I'm amazed that she is my mother, the one who gave me life and now sustains and protects my life. So many things I've taken for granted before now take on a new meaning as my eyes are truly seeing them for the first time. I have lived as though the world, my world, revolved around me. Suddenly I'm questioning its existence, my existence and the why of it all. My mother stirs beside me and I arise as she does knowing that nothing will ever be the same as before. My eyes have been opened to see and my heart stirred to know the answers to all the questions swirling in my young mind. I watch my friends scamper off to play and feed in the valley below but all that has lost its savor for me. There is a strange yearning in my heart that is greater than the rumble of my now empty belly. I want to stay close to my mother for I sense and know she has the answers to many of my questions. She is watching me as all these new thoughts and desires are arising in me. Though I have said nothing she knows I have changed and there is a look of love and compassion in her eyes as she watches me. I drop my head suddenly very shy before her, not sure of this new relationship I sense has begun between us.
“Come” she says and we move towards the pasture below, “We must feed to sustain our strength”. She picks a spot away from the others and it’s not the greenest, nor fullest, or most luscious spot but there is enough grass to feed us both. I watch with new eyes as she eats, not like the fat ones who are lost in the filling of their bellies unaware of all else. She is very deliberate and watchful, taking one bite at a time being watchful as she chews aware of all that surrounds us. I imitate her as I watch her every movement. I sense this is what I must do, my destiny if I am to be a sage one. Long before anyone else moves she moves away from the grassy area to a higher spot, a protected spot to rest but she never stops looking and watching. I too began to look around to see as she sees. At first all seems as before to me, fat ones are feeding and the young ones, my friends, playing around them. Then my eyes pick up movement and I see a ground squirrel scurry across the meadow. I look at my mom and she has seen it too and smiles at me in acknowledge of our discovery. Now my eyes are looking diligently for what I've never noticed before. The meadow becomes alive with life I've never noticed before. A baby eaglet is being pushed from its nest as his mother is teaching him to fly. It's amazing to me to watch them and this display of life I've never been aware of before. Every movement, every blade of grass and flower moved by the gentle breeze, now catches my eye and becomes a source of wonder. This valley I had taken for granted as my home, belonging to me and here only for my pleasure and needs, now is changing before my eyes into a new world full of things that have as much right to it as I do. My mother's eyes are watching me as this revelation is bursting forth in my young mind. I sense she knows and is pleased as we smile at each other sharing the pleasure of this discovery.
There is a joy and peace lying beside of her I've never known before. I look at my friends as they frolic and jump chasing each other but I have no desire to join them. I am content here and I nestle closer to my mother. I want to be like her for now I value her as more than just my mother. She has now become my teacher, my mentor and role model. I feel so privileged to have her as my mother, no one else has the knowledge and wisdom I'm seeking and yearning to know. Yet she is not proud and boastful as I was, she is soft and quiet content to be my mother. I sense destiny stir in my spirit as I realize how lucky I am she's the one who birthed me and it arouses an even greater desire to be like her. I begin to wonder what she did when I was in the meadow playing with my friends. She was never there with the fat ones yet I always sensed her presence and felt safe.
The sun is warm upon us as we lay in this sheltered place and I find myself drifting off to sleep. But the sudden movement beside of me quickly drives that away. She is standing alert as though something has caught her attention. She is regal and foreboding standing there and were it not for my secure knowledge of her love for me I'd be afraid. Her quick movement has caught the fat ones attention and there is panic in their eyes and bleating. With mouths still full of grass they begin to move in panic, not knowing which way to go. But my mother's eyes are still scanning the distant horizon for what had caught her attention. She begins to move down the mountain as she motions for me to stay still and quiet where I am. I watch as she positions herself between the meadow of fat ones and the lambs and the approaching danger. She has taken a stance of readiness to do battle with whatever dares to come near. I see movement now in the tall grass as Mother is quieting the herd to stop their panicky movements. Her very presence has had an amazing effect on them already.
As I watch the grass parts and gives way and I see a wolf, large and gray, emerge. I watch in fear for my mother's life as he approaches first to the left then to the right of her. Each time he shifts direction so does she, positioning herself between him and the herd. I sense this wolf is afraid of her and wants to get by her to reach the others who are no match for his large teeth and the strength of his hunger. As he snarls and walks slowly trying to get around her she has raised herself up ready to do battle. Her hoofs are sharp and flashing as the sun bounces off them displaying how dangerous they'd be to anyone darning to come within striking range. The herd is huddled in fright paralyzed by their fear just behind her. The wolf stops as though assessing his chances and the risk to himself if he continues to confront this fearless and powerful Sage One. He takes one last look at the helpless flock behind her before he turns and trots off seeking easier and less protected prey to satisfy his gnawing hunger.
My mother returns to her normal stance as she lowers her hoofs to the ground still never taking her eyes off the retreating wolf. Her ears are still and intentionally listening for any other sound of danger that could be close by. But the fat ones only see that the wolf has retreated defeated by mother's brave display of power and readiness to do battle if necessary. She was willing to lay down her life for their safety. They come running to her with all kinds of praise and gratitude. The young ones are looking at her in awe too, until now they had never seen her as anything but my mother. My little chest swells with pride as I look upon the scene below. But she is unaffected by any of it, her eyes and stance are still very alert and watchful. She knows retreat may mean an attack from another direction. Slowly the herd returns to their normal occupation and begin to fill their bellies once again with the green grass. The lambs begin to play again this time they are acting like they are fighting wolves, rising up like my mother did ready for battle. They are so brave and fearless now fighting their imaginary foe.
Before long I see my mother relax and turn walking slowly back up the mountain to the ledge where I'm waiting. Yet though the immediate danger seems to be passed she still has a sense of alertness about her every movement. Awe and wonder flood me as I watch this regal powerful Sage One approach me. I am humbled by the knowledge she is my mother, the one who birthed me. How could I have been so lucky to have come from her? I vow anew to grow up into someone she'll be proud of and my determination is strengthened to know the Great Shepherd so I can become a Sage One too. I see her eyes lift up to the mountain and there's a hunger there I've never noticed before as she watches the Sage Ones enter the cloud that’s hovering over its pinnacle. But when she lowers her head the look is gone and changes into love and joy as she sees me.
4/27/13